Not to be read by anyone under 18, unless you’re a hot chick. Barrow, AK (not really, but you can still drop by and see who lives there if you want) The following is completely fictional.
Any resemblance to reality is entirely coincidental.
But Dove and I felt like old friends by the time we’d finished that first lunch.
When I’d told her I’d recently broken up with girlfriend, she’d even suggested a couple possible blind dates that I passed on. “Okay, I left a key on the table,” Dove announced as she came back into the room wearing a cute little floral print skirt and a white blouse, hair up in a ponytail.
And while I’m not exactly a pip squeak, he beat the shit out of me.
I mean, to the point that I kinda felt lucky I only wound up with a broken jaw and some badly bruised ribs.
At first Dove had tried to say he actually liked me, but I’d seen it enough that I knew exactly what it was about.
You see, back in high school and college I was one of those guys that liked the challenge of fucking women in relationships, the more committed the better.
Then if it didn’t sound quite right we tweaked it until it did.
So after that I naturally shied away from women altogether for a little while, and made a conscious effort to stay away from anyone with a boyfriend for even longer.
Though as any teenage girl that finds herself on the bad end of rumors, even those well earned, can tell you, it takes a long time to undo the damage.
No, it was her two-hundred-fifty pounds of pure muscle boyfriend that convinced me to change my ways.
He walked in just as I was basting his girlfriend’s cervix with my gravy.