When children are clean and quiet, and when they get good grades, express their gratitude, give hugs and kisses, say the love us, clean their rooms, get along, and do other things we like, we smile, pat them on the head, hug them, speak in kind tones, and tell them we’re proud of them. But how do we respond to our children when they whine, fight, break things, fight with siblings, or are noisy, messy, ungrateful, irresponsible and disobedient?Without even thinking about it, we frown, roll our eyes, sigh with disappointment, and speak to them with an impatient tone of voice.When you’ve experienced enough truly unconditional love, you begin to understand you are worth loving no matter what.When you feel worthwhile down to your bones, caring for the needs of other people becomes easy. Even when people go out of their way to try to bother you, it doesn’t really affect you much because you know they’re simply not content with their own life.Loving someone until they inconvenience you is love with conditions. When you try to survive on conditional and temporary love, you start acting like someone with only two dollars till pay day. Every unmet expectation feels like the end of the world.
” When we unconditionally care about our children’s happiness they feel a powerful connection to us. With real love, nothing else matters; without it, nothing else is enough. It takes courage to honestly examine the extent of our unconditionally loving behavior.
No job in the world is more important than being a parent, but where do we get the training?
Real Love is, “I care how YOU feel.” Conditional love is, “I care about how you make ME feel.” We give our children real love when we care about their happiness without any concern for what we want.
When I do something to try to please the people around me, I’m doing it as a hostage, not because I genuinely want to do it.
The only way to give real love to others is to feel enough of it yourself.