To be honest I have been pretty suspicious of these areas in part because when I was dating, at 40 ... To me, the only relevant person to compare a widower's baggage to was... (I mostly restricted my searches to men who had been parents, because I had a young child and needed someone who'd understand that if I cancelled a date due to flu that he shouldn't take it personally... prejudices which had been confirmed by experience.).
I do not doubt that many women DO ask these questions and that people are confronting some difficult situations with this "baggage." But emotionally unavailable men come in many flavors. I married a divorced man and we spend more time dealing with his feelings about his 23-year marriage disintegrating and their divorce than we do with Gavin almost literally disintegrating before my eyes and his death. (Plus we live in their house but dude, I KNOW that's weird, and it was equally my choice.) People "compare" me to Mr.
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I have various quibbles with this topic, which he and I have discussed many times.
To me, the Dating a Widower movement, such as it is, looks like it's just based on following Google to high readership.
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Both widowed and divorced men should be able to talk about people in their past without cartoonish characterizations. Okay that is pretty weird, but isn't it a question of theology, like, are you healed when you get to heaven? (I only managed to find one widower when I was dating.It didn't go well, but it had nothing to do with his loss.) So I tend to wonder, why is there no comparable community (and books) for those dating widowed WOMEN,given that they are 7/8ths of the widowed population?(Annie and Able share their thoughts on this here).as well as first hand experience as a member of the population in question. I'll admit that those who date widowed people is not a group I have chosen to speak to or for...Abel is far from the only author tackling this subject: in addition to his two books, Dating a Widower and Marrying a Widower, there is Julie Donner Anderson's Past: Perfect! and that knowing how few men under 55 are widowed compared to women (at one time Social Security told me it was 1 man to 7 women) makes me quite skeptical...