Just before my mother left our house to enjoy a lorra lorra laughs with her friends she always came into the sitting room to give me a quick reminder of her maternal affection: a peck on the cheek.That's rather apposite, because Blind Date was undoubtedly the light entertainment equivalent of a peck on the cheek: nice, wholesome, earnest, comforting, and always leaving a faint but pleasant impression.These men - like those who appear on The Jeremy Kyle Show to flunk their lie detector tests in a flurry of toothlessness and swearing, or those who appear on Embarrassing Bodies brandishing an alarmingly green penis – actually volunteer to flagellate themselves in this way, for the wicked amusement of unseen millions.There's a certain schadenfreude in watching men being made to feel, for even a short fraction of time, how most women have been made to feel for the past 60,000 years at the hands of men, but it's probably wrong to extrapolate the idea that Take Me Out is somehow Germaine Greer's favourite TV show.The man's aim is to convince the ladies – through the sheer force of his poise and charm - to keep their lights on for the duration of the game.
Sometimes a male contestant will dance off the love lift looking like a half-melted Claymation character, wearing a bowtie and braces, and giving off the unmistakable reek of a man who’s lived in his mother’s basement for three decades.
All thirty women will buzz him out long before the horrifying disco moves have ceased.
He’ll then be banished from the studio, stopping only to turn and wave pathetically at the women who have spurned him, as the mournful words of Celine Dion haunt the air around him.
The only thing that could be more damaging to his self-esteem at this point would be if the women decided to forgo the buzzer in favour of chanting 'YOU SEXUALLY DISGUST ME! ' at him until he fell to the floor, weeping himself into a tight ball.
We can only think ourselves lucky that Rodney Alcala never got the chance to appear on the American version of Take Me Out.