The world of emotions that is avoided out of fear or because one never really learned what love is, must first be found in oneself (i.e.
it is necessary to love the self before one loves another).
Because I didn’t get that affirmation from my dad, no matter how shallow some may view it to be, I am constantly waiting on my husband’s praise. I’m working on it but often times when I don’t receive the right admiring comment at the right time, I don't feel valued. I feel like that fat little girl who was bullied on the playground.
My father’s ears weren’t the ones that listened to my hurts or complaints about being teased at school, either.
I realize this makes me more dependent on him than I should be, but that’s the way I’m wired.
In our 11 years together, I can only remember a handful of conversations with my dad.
I have an incessant and annoying need for my husband to tell me I’m beautiful.
For years, I thought I was just incredibly narcissistic, but I recently learned this requisite stems from the fact that I rarely heard my father praise my appearance.
Nothing gives me a sense of worth, of belonging, of being loved, like when my husband defends me.
The task of accomplishing this, requires that the individual become aware of him or herself (by observing the self, the self-talk, and all emotions that occur, good or bad, since all of these serve to give clues about the true self), and that absolute honesty about oneself be employed in this process.
Let the reader be warned: this process is not a simple weekend project; it must be ongoing throughout life; it must become second nature, but it will pave the road to finding inner self-confidence and love for oneself, which will in turn lead to the abolishment of the need for finding these things in another.
Marrying 'Daddy' Other women may choose another route, falling in love with an older man and thus marrying 'daddy.' At this point many different scenarios may ensue.
If the man is at all psychologically aware (something often, but not always lacking in older men who like younger girls), he may have a vague inkling of what is going on.